Say What God? Part 1

I have been avoiding exposing this secret of mine (no I am not having another baby!). If I say it out loud it means it might be true?!?! God has been at some serious work in my and my family's lives over the past year. Changes have been many and adjusting has been hard! Giving up the reigns to God and letting my husband be head of the household may have been the hardest. I still struggle but who wouldn't? We are, after all, only human. 

This past spring God laid on my heart to stop a food ministry I was in charge of at my church. I felt called to just stay at home with my girls. Focus on my family and myself for once! At the time I felt I was just being selfish. Would God REALLY say to stop something and focus on ME? My Husband? My children? Yes! I needed rest. I needed clarity. I needed to start a better relationship with Him, my husband, and my girls! That is just what I did! I started simply by going to the doctor! I realized I am a HOT MESS in regards to my physical health! Luckily I have a WONDERFUL Nurse Practitioner that new me well and would not let me give the "uh huh yep everything is GREAT," answers! She is helping put me back together! (now if the insurance would cooperate). 

I have been able to focus on my role as a wife and mother! I highly recommend the Blog,  Women Living Well. She has a FREE ebook called "Proverbs 31 Woman- One Virtue at a Time", sign up for email updates to get the book for free! 

My oldest, Lillian, started Kindergarten this year. Oh my, that was hard for this mama. I wanted to keep her close by and protect her from the world! She did not agree with that scenario! I begged her let me home-school you! I will let you cook!! She still said "no, maybe next year." Pretty sure she just said that to appease me! So let go, I let her go to school. But, riding the school bus was out of the question!! I draw the line there! We also live literally 90 seconds from school if driving. Seemed silly to me. My sweet daughter prays before school everyday! Not only for herself but her sister, her mother and people with cancer. Her first show and tell day she wanted to bring Christian books to school! Made my heart melt. She is getting a firm foundation in Christ! That pleases me and makes me chill out a bit!

Molly obeyed her mama's wish and stayed home! She let me "home-school" her too. It is beside the point that she is only TWO! She does attend preschool with a home-school co-op and I some how became the teacher assistant! It pays to be friends with the teacher I suppose. Even though my kid is the youngest and quite possibly the wildest, she is learning. She looks forward to seeing her friends and doing schoolwork! The letter B and her bumblebee have been her favorite so far.

My husband, Clyde, has been working non stop, sometimes seven days a week for multiple weeks in a row,  to provide for us. Finding the time to connect is extremely difficult and has been hard to get into a groove. We usually  pass by at dinner! The girls and I miss him and I know he misses his girls. This is just a season of life that we must endure!

 Then came summer where things really got interesting.....................to be continued!

One year later...

One year ago today my world was turned upside down. I was laid off from my job. I was the main bread winner in our house so was very debased and worried about how we were going survive. Well, my thriftiness has surely come in handy. We have gone through a lot of hard times, giving my car back to the bank, getting public assistance, asking for help with a power bill, the constant applying for jobs and then the let down of "sorry we found someone more suited for this job" Those were the hard times but good things happened too. I have been home with my girls everyday! That has been a dream of mine. My little Molly has really needed her momma this year too! 

I became more involved in my church. Started going to bible study and Sunday School. I am proud to say that I have become close to a lot of great couples and ladies but more important have grown in my relationship with God. I do admit that I think I was angry with God. Why did this happen to me? I was made with my previous company. I admit it I did want to pluck their signs up and hit them repeatedly on the ground. I never did!!! I promise! 

A few months ago I was praying that something good would happen to us and realized that I really needed to forgive my former employer for laying me off. I was not sad to be home but carried a lot of resentment around towards them. I struggled for months trying to forgive them. It was not easy. But I did and things have turned around. My husband is getting a new job in a totally different career field. Which comes with a great raise! We decided that I would continue to stay home with the girls. I have really seen God work in our lives, bring us closer together as a couple and provide for us when we really needed it most. We thank everyone who has helped  us a long the way. Especially the Heart and Mind Ministry and The Man up Ministries at NBC and our families! We love you! 

Also.....
THANK YOU HFK FOR LAYING ME OFF! YOU CHANGED MY LIFE FOR THE GOOD AND HELPED ME TAKE THE LEAP OF FAITH!

Happy Easter

Happy Easter! Spent a wonderful day at church and a great meal afterwards with family! Have a great day!

Happy Birthday Lillian

Four years ago today, my life was forever changed. I gave birth to my first baby and became a mother. We named her Lillian Kim. I remember seeing her for the first time and being truly amazed that we created this little person! To this day she still amazes me. She has terrific balance when she walks across the back of the couch. She is a quick learner and very curious about the world. This past Saturday we celebrated her birthday with a Fancy Nancy Birthday Party complete with a fashion show! Lillian called it her Celebration Day! I loved that saying, made it feel even more special. The kids seemed thoroughly enjoy themselves and we enjoyed celebrating with everyone who was able to come out!

 This was how Lillian decided to dress for the fashion show!!

Happy Birthday sweet girl of mine!

In the still of the night

I sometimes mostly stay up late at night to get a little me time. I will read my favorite blogs, check out the latest gossip on Facebook and pretend to be crafty on Pintrest. I always have the TV on for background noise. The other night I decided to turn the TV to a Christian music channel and turned the volume down low. Oh my goodness, this was the most relaxing time I have had in a long time. I sat in my chair for a while just thinking....I could actually here myself thinking! I think we tend to feel that need to abolish quietness to possible avoid things. I think I was trying to avoid my own thoughts possibly in fear that they would be negative. There were negative thoughts but some positive ones as well.

Date Night

The Hubs and I decided it was pass time for a one on one date night. We sent the girls to my parts house for the evening. Clyde and I had an in house date night. This was much cheaper than going to a loud restaurant where we could not hear each other. We cooked dinner together, ate on a make shift table on the living room floor and watched a movie. Dinner and a movie! Unheard of  for us! We usually can only afford dinner out, then we usually do grocery shopping afterwards. Not the most fun date night. By having date night at our own home we were able to  have a real conversation and really enjoy each others company. 

This was our very fancy table. Our nice linen aka bath towel! It was fun and reconnecting  And really that is all that matters. I am a firm believer that couples need time to reconnect without company....ie without children or even another couple. Time without the kids does not have to be an over night or weekend thing. A few hours one night will work. If planning an at home date night think about things you and your significant other like to do. This could be playing video games, cards, singing, playing music, looking at movies, taking pictures, cooking, the choices are endless. I think the point to an at home date night is to save money but still have fun! You just have to get a little creative!

Silliness

I was looking through some old photos tonight and came across this photo. A photo I thought I would never post where people could actually see it. But it got me thinking. Sometime you just have to act silly with the ones you love! Even if it is to keep from crying. Smile on.....